STORY ABOUT HAZRAT UMER R.A AND HIS WIFE

“It is reported that a man came to ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (R.A) to complain about his wife’s ill-temper.

While he was waiting for ‘Umar to come out of his house, he heard ‘Umar’s wife scolding him and ‘Umar quietly listening to her, and not answering her back.

The man turned around and started walking away, muttering to himself: “If that is the case with ‘Umar, the leader of the believers, who is famous for his uprightness and toughness, then what about poor me?!”

At that moment, ‘Umar came out of his house and saw the man walking away.

He called him and said, “What is it you want of me, O man?”

The man replied: “O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife’s bad-temper and how she nags me. Then I heard your wife doing the same to you, so I turned around, muttering to myself, ‘If that is the situation of the leader of the believers, then what about me?’”

‘Umar replied, “O my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breast-feeds my child… and yet none of these are her duty; and then she is a comfort to my heart and keeps me away from forbidden deeds. Consequently, I bear with her.”

The man said, “It is the same with me, O leader of the believers.”‘

Umar said: Then, O my brother, be patient with her, indeed THIS LIFE IS SHORT.”

So what is the message for us?

For Husbands: Indeed, it’s not obligatory upon your wife to serve you or to perform house chores. But if she does; never take it for granted. Appreciate and be thankful to her for everything she is doing for you and the kids at home. Neglect her flaws and praise her for her skills. Acknowledge her accomplishments. Being a man is not about domination; it’s about solicitude.

READ: BEING A MAN!

For Wives: Imagine Umer R.A’s reaction if His wife wasn’t performing any of those mentioned tasks? Would he be still so soft towards her? I doubt it. When we work in an office, we go over the board to impress our seniors. We willingly perform tasks out of our job description just to be the favorite candidate for promotion. Then why don’t apply the same in your own house. I know there are husbands who don’t acknowledge their wives’ work; but not all husbands are same. And remember; most husbands too go over the board to give you a comforting life.

We humans are not perfect, we can’t even always perform all of our duties; so to cover up our flaws, we have to do something extra. Just like praying to Allah. Are we perfect enough to rely just on our obligatory prayers? No, we are sinners; we sin intentionally and unintentionally; the obligatory prayers won’t be enough to cover up for our sins so we pray Nafl, we pray Sunnah, we do Tasbih so that our NON OBLIGATORY good deeds cover up our sins. Allah won’t hold us accountable if we skip non-obligatory prayers or fasts; but we perform so that Allah have mercy on us and don’t hold us accountable for our negligence on the obligations.

Please read: IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE – GENDER ROLES – RIGHTS & RESPONSIBILITIES