YASIR AND IQRA MARRIAGE DEBATE

First of all, this post is not a personal target; this is a general discussion on something that happens quite a lot. But I have picked Yasir and Iqra as an example because they happened most recently.

Yasir and Iqra have been in news for months now because of their relationship, and they are not the only ones, many other celebrity couples also become talk of the town for their pre-marriage relationships. And then there is a whole lot debate, some defend them and some criticize and some just humiliates them.

First of all, whether you agree or don’t, one should never ever abuse or call names. I have read people mentioning horrible words which are not acceptable at any case. And secondly, one can criticize but can’t judge the fate of the person whether he is going to Paradise or Hell. Because what you are looking at is just one angle of that person’s life.

I have written an article extensively explaining about what is Haram and Halal and I will suggest you to read it to get better understanding of what I am about to explain here.

So, is it Haram to love someone? Is it Haram to ride in a same vehicle without marriage? Is it Haram for a girl and a boy to go on a vacation without marriage? Is it Haram for a non-married couple to stay in a same hotel room? The simple answer to all these questions is, NO. None of this is Haram BUT, highly disliked not only by society but by Islam too because a human being is very weak and even the smallest of disliked acts can take him/her to the bigger sin.

I once heard a joke and found it very meaningful. Someone asked God why can’t a non-married man and a woman sleep on a same bed? The God replied, of course they can, there is no prohibition on sleeping together on a same bed for a non-married couple but, the problem is that when they are on a same bed, THEY DON’t SLEEP.

Now I am not blaming or humiliating or judging someone’s character but ask yourself, how unlikely it is that all these unmarried couple spending all the time together never indulged in any immoral activity? Unarguably, it is between them and Allah, we can’t judge them but when you make it public, now it’s not just between you and Allah because now you have become a source, people look at you and follow you. Now let’s assume and I hope it’s true that none of these celebrities ever indulged in any immoral activity, they are strong and mature enough to control themselves all the time, but what about those youngsters and teenagers who are following them? What if a young couple follows their footsteps and goes on a vacation together and comes back with a baby.

So there are people who are genuinely upset by the acts of these celebrities because when they look around, they watch their loved ones walking the wrong steps influenced by the celebrities, so their anger is justified. We can’t deny how much the media and public figures have influence on our lives, especially the teenagers and youngsters. No one would bother if these celebrities try to keep it as personal as possible. And remember, Allah may forgive you for your sin but may hold you accountable for the sins of others that were caused by your influence. Sinning is one thing and not accepting it or moreover bragging about it is a grave sin. Allah may forgive the sin but He won’t tolerate arrogance.

There is an argument that IT’S THEIR LIFE, THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO. Well yes, it’s their life; they can do whatever they want to do but in limits and as per teachings of Islam. If they don’t want to follow these teachings, it is up to them but at least don’t make them public and let people go astray. And this principle applies not only on celebrities but on every individual, you can enjoy the life the way you want but make sure not to leave a bad influence. It’s like if you don’t want to fast in the Holy month of Ramadan, fine, it’s between you and Allah, no one can force you to fast but at least don’t eat in front of the others out of respect.

One other argument is that KHUD KONSA HER TIME HATH MAI TASBIH PAKRI HOTI HAI. Well, no person on the planet is pure. Every person is a sinner in one way or the other, but that doesn’t mean we can’t preach good, that doesn’t mean we can’t advise good to people or try to stop evil. If a father is an alcoholic, does this mean he has no right to punish his kid for the same sin? Yes, the best way is to become a role model by eliminating that same sin of yours so that you can preach more effectively but still it doesn’t mean you can’t say a word if you are or were a sinner yourself. May be Allah will forgive one’s sin for at least trying to save others from the same sin. And may be Allah will punish the other person for arrogantly rejecting and mocking the person who was trying to guide him.

Be humble people, even if a smoker comes to you and humbly ask you not to smoke as it is not good for your health, instead of showing him the mirror and mocking him, listen to what he is saying, it could be of benefit, and if you don’t want to listen, just smile and change the topic or leave. If the adviser is rude and arrogant and you reply with the same attitude, there is no difference between you and him.

And to all those advisers and criticizers, yes, you have all the right to criticize but in a humble way. You don’t have the right to abuse or humiliate someone for their sins. Be humble, be humble, be humble. Listen humbly, speak humbly, and criticize humbly. The words, the way and when you say them matters a lot. Your harsh words can make a heart even harder instead of melting it. And the most valuable deed to do for someone is DUA. If you find someone on wrong path, preach humbly and make Dua. And don’t just point out the sins of other people, look at your own sins first and try to eliminate them. And to all listeners, don’t focus on who is saying, focus on what is being said. Sometimes even a kid says something genius.

And don’t only point out the bad in others because this way, they will never listen and will do bad things deliberately, it is human nature to turn rebel upon hearing rejection. If you start off by directly pointing out the wrongs and try to humiliate, it will never work. Highlight the goods, praise them for what they have done good in life, praise their good deeds and then humbly preach them. And always look for the right time. You can’t go to a wedding and start preaching about how music and dance is haram, that’s not the right time and place. No one would listen to you; in fact, they will run away from you.

Same goes for social media, you can’t criticize about the past on Yasir and Iqra’s marriage posts, and if there are things happening in their marriage ceremony which are wrong and you dislike them, save it for another time and another forum. Let them live the moment because you can’t change it. Be a part of their happiness, congratulate them and if you don’t want to be a part of it, simply ignore and make Dua for their guidance. Your rude comments or your advice won’t help; in fact it will make people hate you. Even the right things spoken on the wrong time have no value.

And remember to never Hate someone for their sins. You can dislike people, ignore them but can’t hate them because hate causes violence, hate never fix things instead make them worse and most importantly, hate creates a gap between two people and you can’t heal a person from isolation.

To all the youngsters, please do not follow someone blindly. Follow the teachings of Islam. Why you defend or fight for someone online who don’t even know you. Have you ever defended your own parents in the same way you defend these celebrities? Wrong is wrong even if it is done by someone you like, and right is right even if it is done by someone you dislike. Remember, on the day of judgment, you are on your own, no one is going to come for your rescue, no one.

As for Yasir and Iqra, what they have done is past, let the bygones be bygones and make Dua for them, now they are a Halal couple, make Dua for their marriage and make Dua for their happiness and may Allah show them and all of us the right path. May Allah strengthen our faith. Ameen.

NOTE: Some people misunderstood, so I have written a separate article in detail.