HOW I OVERCAME SUICIDAL THOUGHTS?

Like most of the youngsters, I also have suicidal thoughts for years. If you read my last post, you must have an idea of the reasons behind my suicidal thoughts. So how did I overcame it?

First of all, I didn't, it just got better. So what is it that keeps me from jumping over my room window? Two things....

I am a Muslim Alhamdulillah and it is an enough reason to not kill oneself if you fear Allah. The hardships I will face in the grave and the life hereafter will be much much worse than the troubles I am facing now. If you think deep for a second about the punishments mentioned by Allah and our Beloved Prophet, your worldly hardships will feel like a mustard grain. We think that by killing our-self, it's over, wrong, its's actually the real beginning. One should always be thankful to Allah for everything He has provided because if you look around, you are definitely gonna see people living in much worse condition than you.

But unfortunately, our faith is weak and it is human nature that we are not afraid of something that we can't see or feel. We don't see Allah, we have just heard about the punishments and never saw them happening so we don't really understand how harsh it is.

So, what's the other thing that kept me alive?

I realized that suicide is pure selfishness. I realized that I don't just live for myself, my life is not just for me, my life also belongs to my loved ones who sacrificed for me, who cared for me, who have hopes for me, who needs me, people who will be destroyed the moment my heartbeat stops. And who are those people? Family, true friends, people who really care about me.

Just imagine, your parents raised you, they sacrificed their youth, their desires, their comfort for you, to make you better, to make you successful, to make you strong and in return, they just want you and nothing else. They don't want your money or your luxury, they just want you, they want to spend their old age looking at you, you are a pillar for them, you are the reason they are alive. Do you want to take all that away? Your parent's weren't perfect, they made mistakes raising you but they love you more than anyone else.

And not only parents, your brothers, sisters, wife, children, just imagine what would happen to them if you decide to end your life just because you think you can't handle it anymore? Will the people you left behind will be able to handle it? What about their dreams that they had for you? Are you so selfish to shatter their dreams?

I may not be able to provide much to my parent's currently, but even a sense of having me alive around them keeps them on their feet, I am a purpose of their life and I can't take that away. I have a younger brother who loves me a lot, when I imagine his crying face if I was dead, when I imagine my parent's reaction upon hearing my death news, I start shaking, I start crying and I say to myself, no matter how big a failure I am, but I am not selfish.

Life is not easy but it is up to you how you want to face it. I learned that no matter what, I have to be thankful because if I lack a hundred things that others have, I have hundred other things that most people don't have.

And suicide, never, I have to be around my family because they need me alive, I am like Oxygen for my old parents. And no matter how polluted oxygen is, it keeps you ALIVE!

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