ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD

First of all, a heartily congratulations to the couple Asad and Nimra and loads of prayers for a healthy wealthy happy married life. And kudos to the boy to stepping up for her girl instead of just time passing. Marrying at an early age is indeed a blessing. The most important factor is that it keeps you away from the most evil sin which is Zina. And the best thing is that these two will evolve together; their mindset will be interdependent, their thinking, their goals, their way of life will be highly influenced by each other hence resulting in abundance of understanding. And of course they will have children early too; not now but probably by the age of 25 which means their kids will have young parents which will make their bonding unique and friendly and there will be not much of a generation gap issue.

That was the good stuff; now let’s take a look at the other side of the coin. What this young couple did is truly remarkable and should be appreciated but they are not an ideal couple. I can easily say that the boy belongs to a well settled family. There is no finance issue. His family can easily bear his and his wife’s expenditures. And that is why the girl and her family also agreed. I am not accusing them to be Gold Diggers but of course a girl and her family have to be assured that the girl will be taken good care of; after all it’s the husband’s responsibility.

Now tell me how many parents are financially strong enough to bear the expenditures of a boy and her wife that include studies too. There are thousands of men who want to get married but it’s the financial issue that becomes a hurdle. I myself am a prime example. I am 27 years old and desperately want to get married but I am still not strong enough to provide for my wife and give her a life that I dream of. Yes, it is true that Allah is the RAAZIQ, He is the one who provides but first we have to put an effort. I can’t just sit and wait for miracles. Marriage is not a joke, wife is not just a mean of pleasure, she deserves a comfort life.

I am not saying that one should wait until he gets super rich, absolutely no. But at least stable enough to provide basics. And marrying as a student is not possible for majority of us due to financial reasons. Parents can hardly pay for a boy’s education, how would they pay for the wife’s education too? And plus the other expenses.

Again, I am not against this couple, I admire them and anyone who is privileged enough should follow their footsteps. But unfortunately, it is not possible for majority of the population. Marriage should be done ASAP. The only important criteria is that the man shall be strong enough to provide similar lifestyle that the Girl was enjoying in her house. And if the girl is studying, he shall be able to provide for her studies too.

One more important point is that if you love someone, don’t play with the feelings. Talk to your parents. Even if you can’t get married at the moment, take your parents in confidence and they can still carve a way out for you to be together rather than being in a Haram relationship. And parents should also take this matter seriously. If parents deny supporting, then they are also responsible for the evil acts of their children.

We should make Nikah easy and get rid of some of the unnecessary obligations. The reason why most girls and boys run from marriage is that we have portrayed it as a huge burden. Girls are afraid that their life will stop after marriage. Why doesn’t the boy’s family treat her as a daughter instead of a Bahu? If she wants to study, let her study even if it requires being away. It is not necessary to take over the responsibility of the entire house right from the first day of marriage. If a girl is studying and her college is near to her house, let her stay at her house instead of in laws, what’s wrong in it? She could visit at weekends. Are these obligations important or keeping your child away from sin is important? I understand that these obligations are due to some complications, such as; technically after marriage, Maika is not a girl’s house anymore so if she is living there, her bhabhi could create a scene or people will question the boy’s intentions and many other such complications but try to resolve those complications peacefully. COMPLICATIONS K CHAKKAR MAI BACHE MUN KAALA KRA RHE HAIN.

You must read also: IMPORTANCEOF MARRIAGE – GENDER ROLES – RIGHTS & RESPONSIBILITIES